Are you shy? Or maybe you just don’t know how to start a conversation to somebody you do not know…
You are not alone. In Scandinavia, we tend to be quite introvert when it comes to making new connections. For some reason, we are not so skilled in unbiased networking and spontaneous gatherings. Maybe it’s the climate. Anyhow, we are in power to change that.
Swedish author Niclas Jacquemot suggest that you could start practicing your social skills on people that are close to you, like family and colleagues.
In his book “Vässa din sociala kompetens” we can read about the main two things that determine peoples first impression. According to research, the first impression you give are deduced from being perceived as a warm person, and a competent person.
A warm person is open and generous, can easily chitchat and connect.
So let us look at how we can improve our chit-chat muscle.
Here are five tips:
- EYE CONTACT. Start by looking people in the eyes. You will be surprised at how connected you can feel, just by meeting another person’s eyes.
- CLICHÉS. Start by talking about natural circumstances, like the weather. The deeper conversations almost always start with clichés.
- LOWER YOUR GUARD. Give a little of yourself. You can have integrity yet be open and giving. This makes the other person comfortable and open too.
- ASK QUESTIONS. Be a good listener. Train yourself to ask questions that deepen the connection.
- CONCLUDE WITH CLARITY. Greet and thank the other person before you part. It will honor your encounter and be remembered. Next time you meet (if so) you will already be connected.